Behind The Smile
by Footprint
Summary: This story takes place during Kensin's wandering years before he arrived in Tokyo, that is before he would meet Kaoru and make many new companions, however it isn't limited to him wandering, these tales will also include his time with the Ishin shishi and when he was in training with Hiko Seijūrō XIII. In this tale I want to focus upon how Kenshin formed another personality.


**Introduction**

In this tale we visit the inspiration that leads to Kenshin alter ego the hitokiri Battōsai and his altercation with a beautiful young girl, reminding him the importance of human connection.

**Behind the smile**

_"Maybe you are already lost and just don't know it" Christine Feehan, Dark Demon_

The teenage wanderer has been withering for a while now, much earlier than the winter, even before he left the Ishin Shishi, but the greenery is now starting to bloom, the sky holds a soft blue glow, the cherry blossoms are sure to follow, the time for decay is over.

New beginnings, new life, having now fulfilled the purpose of the Battōsai. Kenshin is raising his head above the abyss for a new life, a new purpose, a hitokiri that does not kill, if there is such a thing, he will take it.

"Swords are weapons. The way of the sword is the way to kill. However you dress your righteousness, killing is your truth" Shishou words still echo in his mind.

Killing is the truth of swordsmanship, having watered the ground with blood I can't deny it's truth, had I not fought with the intent to kill with the likes of shinsengumi elites I would have died, hmmm even now my resolve wavers, a hitokiri that does not kill, clearly a contradiction in meaning. However I will not sugarcoat it I am a hitokiri. Ah perhaps again even in finding redemption I am going against shishou's teachings.

The sun is rising even through the woodlands it's warm touch is felt, it's light is beautiful.

Shishou would have him with his chores and training, Ishin Shishi had him with his duties and training, now the lack of purpose and training is making, his body numb and even his mind dumb. Incoherent thoughts followed by sloppy movements, his head wilting to the ground.

"Ohayo cheer up" he looks up sluggishly with only a half whispered "oro ?" escaping his mouth.

He pauses admiring the beautiful flower ahead of him in these plain woodlands. Her skin fairer than the blossoms, beautiful green eyes, and long pinkish hair, thick bangs covering her forehead, looking similar to his hair but not as long or wild and a softer tone. He must be closer to a settlement than he realised.

She begins waving to catch his attention "Hello jisan" although Kenshin's might as well be deaf to her words.

She no peasant girl, she's wearing some sort of red one piece dress, it's clearly expensive. Even a layman in fashion sense can see it's quite elegant, sleeves reaching just before her elbows, with slits on her side, decorative cherry blossoms and light clouds engraved through out the dress, clearly a very dear item of clothing, she must be from an important family, although he has yet to see a family crest, what on earth is she doing here ?

She gets right in front of him face to face "ohayo ... miss" Kenshin forces a small smile, whilst slowly stepping back, what a carefree youngster.

"Oh hello good morning ... I'm Sakura nice to meet you jisan so what are we doing today ?Getting some air, mmm what should we call you ? It's not everyday I see another red head"

Red head was amongst his nicknames well before the Battōsai title caught on, it brings faint echos at the back of his memories back to the front. "Hellooo sword for brains do you prefer mister samurai ?"

Kenshin fakes a smiles since it's the polite thing to do, "Sorry miss err Sakura chan my mind was wandering again"

The young girl points to his blade " jisan you look worried, well those things will get you trouble nowadays, that's what my daddy says, mister red samurai man he he he he" Kenshin's makes a slightly puzzled look "oro" the girl continues "it's one of the new laws set by the Meji government, the banning of samurai swords" "is that so, I will have to take care, that I will, but should you be out here by yourself miss Sakura chan?"

"Didn't you know? Women have to be strong in order to survive !" She breaks into giggles, Kenshin continues to exchange strange pleasantries with the girl, it turns out she was looking for toads of all things, regardless talking to another person grants him some comfort, a break from himself.

He hears shouts for her not soon after, it's getting closer too, he decides to parts ways before any signs of trouble can form.

"Hey you ! Mister red samurai sir you still didn't tell me your name" "My name... my name it is Himura" saying it brings a real smile to his face, "Himura Kenshin" It's been a while since I met someone who wanted to know that name.

She curtsies perfectly before leaving she's probably done it hundreds of times, she has one last thing to say though before she leaves "remember a smile is the easiest way out of a difficult situation, so just smile okay" she giggles out "bye mister Himura Kenshin jisan "

He stands behind some trees towards the edge of the woodlands and sneakily watches her go, he sees her getting scolded in the distance, his thoughts soon drift off to names and the power they hold.

I had thought of abandoning the name shishou gave me when I joined the Ishin Shishi but it was not needed I was usually referred to as red head. It was there way of teasing me similar to how father would but that would end soon afterwards I was simply called Battōsai the unsheather.

As frustrating as it was now Battōsai is the name I loathe. Although there is one person who stuck with just calling me red, officer Mōrgan-dono.

Officer Dekusutā Mōrgan-dono was instrumental in forming my alter ego and as it appears meeting people like Sakura chan will be essential for caging it.

_Flash back: About 4 years ago, Kenshin's first encounter with officer Dekusutā Mōrgan_

"Ohayo red" whispered the invader straight to his ear, the fourteen year old instinctively grips his katana, still unsheathed and simultaneously gets into his stance, gains eye contact, widens his distance towards the stranger, gathers his strength, regains his breath, his forehead breaks out a cold sweat.

The suddenness of his whisper and the eeriness of his aura ambushed the young swordsman, his very breath itself was cut.

He sees the whisperer standing in front of him arms folded, he's smiling just smiling, still as a user of Hiten Mitsurugi-ryū all he senses alert him to imminent danger.

"Sorry for startling you, Takasugi-san told me to look for the red headed child. But I must say your Zanshin is amazing, no wonder Takasugi-san has high hopes for you" says the smirking stranger.

Kenshin steadily loosens his grip, the man before him is just standing he is not here to fight, and he must be associated with the Ishin shishi, he seems to know my recruiter and seeing that this is Ishin shishi territory he regains himself.

But he's giving off a deadly amount of bloodlust, as though a wave is being directed towards me except as soon as it reaches me, it becomes playful as though calmed into a gentle sprinkle, Kenshin decides to ease off his blade.

"ohayo ... sir I don't think we've met before" replies the youngster "I am officer Dekusutā Mōrgan" Kenshin examines him carefully, he's clearly no ordinary officer, he's armed with typical samurai daisho sword combo, one long sword (katana) and a short one (wakizashi), wearing an simple kimono and hakama in dark colours, but it's the air around him that's well just off, just being next to him is confusing, my senses can't tell if he want to greet me or cut me.

Kenshin "Mōrgan-dono... yes Takasugi-dono did mention that you would meet with me but if you don't mind me mister...er.. Mōrgan-dono but who are you and how do you know Takasugi-dono"

Mōrgan stops nodding his head to answer "a friend, we've worked together before, in this business that usually not something pleasant nor something that I can discuss as you should know, but don't worry he'll see you soon, not every question can be answered though"

Kenshin nods hesitatingly accepting his reply, as the officer continues "but he's been talking about you, the child prodigy, he plans a high purpose for you, young one" he pauses smirks and continues "I would enjoy seeing you in action, see what all the excitement is about, I'm a bit of a swordsman myself, we should spar sometime red" Kenshin nods in suspicion "I would be honoured Mōrgan-san" he says politely.

_Back to the wandering_

Kenshin's sees the girl now far in the distance, what a beautifully bright and warm aura she has, so inviting, he briefly reminisces of his Sakura and the other women that sheltered him, Kasumi and Akane the light they shone, their love and kindness to a complete stranger like me, even though we met briefly.

Their smile was so radiant, and now they are gradually becoming faded memories, he hopes remembering them will keep them alive. He is unable to think of thier warmth without also thinking of the darkness, they felt, the cold and callous men who abused them, many were senseless men swinging swords, some calling themselves samurais.

So it's happened they actually went through with it and banned blades, fine and perhaps good. The samurais of this period and perhaps of all periods have predominantly not been honourable, but what of traditions? The westerners have seeped in will swordplay also fall out of custom as a result? Surely there are still men of tradition who will keep the art alive in some form.

Now the Meiji government is in charge of law and order not the daimyo's and their samurai knights many are just above organised thugs.

Cutting down merchants, he is in love with his wealth, cutting down peasants, didn't pay his due, cutting down children he's a thief, carrying off their women, she shouldn't be out here, be grateful for the great Tokugawa shogunate for providing law and order.

He reflects on his sakabatō practically a bladeless sword, maybe this sword has the potential to save rather than kill, perhaps it is for the best, the removal of swords could restore the differences in power in Japan, the injustices.

Power can bring out a darkness in oneself, a presence, the ego becomes intoxicated by its new found power fundamentally changing ones nature, there's no going back as well.

There would never have been peace under the shogunate, he does not regret what he did but awakening his own power and subsequently his darkness still haunts him.

_Flash back: Sparring with officer Dekusutā Mōrgan_

Officer Dekusutā Mōrgan brought a pair bokutō bladeless practice swords, the very next day. Both have taken their stances, Kenshin's not one to make the first move however neither is Dekusutā and he still has that same casual innocent smile on.

But slowly he raises his bokutō and starts to walk towards Kenshin, he then mirrors his movement until both bokutō are touching, Mōrgan's eyes suddenly start dilating causing a flicker, the smile is dead.

Kenshin senses he's going to lunge straight at him, he instinctively evades to the right, that action leads to an elbow strike followed by side slash, Kenshin managed to dampen the blow, and to get behind Mōrgan, but he swiftly makes a couple of paces back.

Again they are locked in the same position as before, blade on blade. However not without consequences his arm is becoming numb, he can't hold back anymore Mōrgan san is definitely a swordsman, he's no amateur.

As the duel continues Kenshin continues to misread his attacks, if it wasn't for his training he would have lost already, he realises his opponent specialises in misdirection. He manipulates his body movements and even his aura to send false signals of movement. Kenshin has no choice but to rely simply upon pure instinct and abandon his almost premonition like reading ability to predict opponents intent.

This new strategy pushes Officer Dekusutā Mōrgan back against a wall, after all Kenshin is the prodigy.

He let's out a smile something is wrong and Kenshin knows it and immediately takes a defensive stance his opponent to send out a strong blast of his dark aura.

Infront of this presence, Kenshin feels choked, his senses are detecting death, in all directions, paralysing him.

His mind is racing this is sorcery, an illusion, witchcraft whatever it is has left him bewildered. It feels as though I am under some spell, even the air is heavy and hot.

Kenshin did learn the basics of perceiving aura's around him, and additionally blocking out intimidating auras but this is different this is beyond his scope of knowledge.

The young boy watches the officer walk towards him, however in this semi-lucid state he sees a dark shadowy creature behind him, this mans a monster.

Unable to move Kenshin tries to counter by sending out his own kai, it's having an affect however it's not enough he tries again, he fails and fails.

The officer gives him an idea "don't fight it match it" this time he tries to imitate Mōrgan's aura.

He senses a change within himself, a new strength emerging, Dekusutā notices flicker, this is the first time Kenshin has tried such a thing, but it works, all the darkness he has endured comes out, his shadow stands tall with the other shadow, Kenshin breaks free of the spell and goes to strike "stop, this is enough I can't beat you now"

But Kenshin is not stopping his bokutō breaks past him. He has his blade pressed against his neck "snap out of it now, that is an order, remember who you are Kenshin !" Now the officer conceals the darkness that was engulfing them even the sky seems a tad brighter.

Kenshin finally snaps out of his murderous intent. And of course he is still the victor. Kenshin holds back his blade, Dekusutā silly smile returns he concedes defeat.

It wasn't soon after that he told me his purpose was to bring out the beast within me however I refused at first.

_Back to the wandering_

That was the first time I realised what a killing intent is, it's another feeling than simply stopping ones foe, the aim to immediately vanquish an enemy.

My resolve to help the Ishin Shishi was firm nevertheless I had mistakenly equated my enthusiasm with the resolve to do what's needed. I thought I could kill my opponents as Kenshin however my strikes lost power and their precision.

After my first few floppy kills I started to follow the meditation regime Mōrgan san had prepared for me to release the shackles that bind my darkness, as much as I hated it, soon I mastered fighting with murderous intent and became the hitokiri Battōsai, the slayer of men, an efficient and effective killer.

But those days are gone I've been despairing far too long, he stretches his body and begins with some breathing exercises, the mind follows the body, I need to maintain myself or else I won't be no use to anyone. Swordplay will be out of fashion but I must endure this craft regardless...

_Officer Dekusutā Mōrgan's after thoughts_

Shortly after our match I taught him of the alter ego, within me, 'the dark passenger' I taught him of an existence that resides within the shadows, hidden in the darkness of men's heart.

Whether it truly is a demon or simply a madness within me is a matter of debate but it will definitely increase ones strength.

And when this beautiful creature is led out, all of ones wishes are fulfilled without any hesitation or remorse, the red one still didn't appreciate, the gift I was offering.

I revealed to him Takasugi dono concerns that he was was too innocent for the dirty work that would follow, that his psyche wouldn't have been able to handle it.

Perhaps it was out of some sort of pity, hoping the boy would not lose his innocence, that he could develop a separate sense of self for assassinations and then return to his normal self after the revolution.

I taught him how releasing this inner shadow, would be a step to developing this other self, I showed him meditative techniques that would help in releasing this new power.

At first he rejected this method, but after seeing more and more bloodshed and violence, and the weakening of his resolve, led him back to me. He then used my method to fulfil his duties, to release his darkness.

Unfortunately I did not know of the other presence already within him that of poor little Shinta nor that his foolish master was already trying to forge a new self within the boy by renaming him as Kenshin.

The emergence of a new dark self especially during his transformative years into manhood weakened his current sense of self, that his master spent nearly four years developing.

Hence the development of the Battōsai self within him, was unbalanced, he developed strength and resoluteness like never before he was completely mesmerised by it.

I'm sure even his master would not have recognised him as he fell deeper and deeper. And as a result Battōsai bloomed very quickly becoming his dominant self instead of just a psyche resulting in his current self to wither.

The imbalance caused some interesting physiological changes he slowly started to become expressionless and indifferent to everything around him, well I warned him about that but for him it was deeper he had an aftertaste of blood always with him, and he could actually see the darkness around others, on top of that he started to hear whispering further urging him on to go one step further.

The dark passenger helped me fulfil my dark desires as for him his darkness is trying to save others even at the expense of the host, no wonder he lost himself within the shadow.

But along came the beautiful Tomoe, if only I could have witnessed when she was sprayed in blood, now she was a flower, ready to wilt away, not only did she bring back the lost boy, swallowed in shadows, but herself as well, what a thing she was. Without her would he have become a wanderer or would he have continued spilling blood in the shadows ?

However she died trying to save him and the mark constantly reminds him of her, hence loosening Battōsai dominance of him.

Now the young boy is trying to bloom, all Battōsai required was darkness, as for him now he needs to see the light, at the end of the tunnel, ... hope.

_"If home is where the heart is, where do you go when you don't have a heart?" Dexter Morgan from Dexter._

Finished

_A/N: Another piece of the Kenshin saga that was left out was the development of the Battōsai, it was as though another sense of self a separate part of him. That led me to Officer Dekusutā Mōrgan from the series Dexter, and his alter ego the dark passenger._

_And Sakura from the Naruto series was supposed to have a greater role in the chapter, as I wanted to delve into the fake smiles he makes as mentioned in the animated movie reflection but it didn't go exactly as planned but still I managed to hint towards it._

_I would have loved to have put Seta Soujiro fake smiles into this chapter as well to contrast and compare with Kenshin's but Kenshin's has yet to meet him and I believe he's around four at this period of time in Kenshin journey._


End file.
